Looking Back #2

My best guy friends have all told me–no man will ever let a woman he truly wants and cares for get away.

That the fact that I have not heard from him since I last saw him means he is no longer thinking of me or missing me. That he has moved on. And that I should do the same.

Let me tell you.. I was shattered. I couldn’t believe it. I got hurt AND “unwanted” (or is that just a residual feeling?).

This has been a  very difficult transition for me. From going to talking to him everyday and making plans–to nothing at all. Not a peep. I even had sex with someone else recently, just so I could start detaching myself from HG, but that didn’t work. All I could think about was our amazing sex–and how here I am– thinking about how the only way I could cum is if I was thinking about him. This has never happened to me before. All I wanted was him. I miss his warmth, his touch,—our connection. Clearly, I am not ready to emotionally connect with someone new–but I know with time this will pass. It’s just upsetting that here I go again, having to find myself in these new chapters. I was hoping that I would never have to experience this pain again. It is just awful.

I am so miserable.

But I am also happy because things need to happen in order for life to shift the way it is supposed to happen.

Why didn’t his friends tell him anything? “What about Michell?” I know HG is a grown man capable of making decisions (clearly)–but all those friends who said they love me, and are happy that we are together and to take care of him–what happened? Why did they let him take it so far?

It makes me angry because HG has told me that introducing a girl to his best friend and his family is a big deal. Well, it was the first time IG met HG’s BFF..and at his wife’s family home nonetheless. What does that say about HG? His standards for his friends? Where’s the honor in his words?

I still wake up with this ache in my chest.

The pain has lessen, and I look forward to the morning I wake up where I don’t feel pain at all.

 

 

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Author: Elena

My road from heartache to finding true love (eventually)

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