R Hottie = Fuckboy

Ugh… update… if anyone is even still reading this or following me for that matter.

So, for the last month and a half R Hottie and I have been having a “textship” or however the fuck you call it. Which is fine with me, because to be brutally honest, I wasn’t ready for someone like R Hottie and his breadcrumbs were weak. But then he got really interested again. The same kind of attention and 24/7 of it.

FI-nally we meet up yesterday to hang out after a series of trying to see each other but we keep missing each other because of business trips, family events, etc.

Mind you, I have NOT sent him any nudes or anything of the sort. Definitely pics of me looking fine as fuck and classy sweet pics too. He loved them all. He would say things like “I can’t wait to see you.” “Thinking of you.” “You’re a treasure.” “You are gorgeous.” You are beautiful.” “Sexy.”

Anyway, so I come over to his place and I knew that something physical was going to happen. I was so for it. Just two consenting adults that have an attraction towards each other.

R Hottie opens his front door to greet me and let me in and looks … well…. handsome and really sexy. We kissed immediately and just hung out for a bit talking about his trip to NoLa and he noticed I was wearing an outfit that I purposefully did not wear a bra with (or panties for that matter).. and we made it to 3rd base.

Super hot.

Very sexy.

We then left to get some tacos and then came back. We had a nice time just talking about art, families, work, etc. And 3rd base happens again.

We continue to just chill and like an hour later he tells me “You are gonna be upset but I forgot I told my friend I was going to pass by for their improv show.”

Um, yea, annoyed because this is the THIRD date he disrupts. He even told me before we met up that he wanted to take me out and yet doesn’t even invite me to join him to go to the show.

So he walks me to my car, kisses me passionately and tells me he will call me after the show.


No call. And I will certainly not reach out.

It is now day after and still no call or text. No more 24/7 attention.


Any advice?

R Hottie = Fuckboy.

What’s worse is that for just a moment I thought about my ex and got sad-mad at him all over again. I blame him that I am dating again and just got my first fuckboy (when I reallyyyy hoped he wasn’t one). But whatever, HG is still the biggest loser of them all.

Feel me?

Hand in Hand

You are on my noodle, R Hottie. Contact me.

I last heard from you last week Wednesday morning. You liked my art on FB a couple days ago.

Thanks for the bread crumbs, much? You don’t come across to me as the fuckboy type.

According to the advice from platonic male friends, or as Chris Rock would call them “Dicks in glass cases”, you aren’t ready.



R Hottie

So unexpectedly, I met this man— let’s refer to him as R Hottie earlier this month at the Miami Film Festival Opening Party.

I was dancing and moving around with my group of friends all night– it was a blast but I have been in my 5in heels for the last few hours and I am already feeling the need to sit down. There is of course, very limited seating and ALAS! I found a single chair at an occupied table. Mind you, its dark lighting, plus I am feeling buzzed.

I sat down on the chair without looking up and said, “I am sorry to take your chair but I only need it for a few seconds” and then a male voice responds,

“How many seconds is that, exactly?”

I looked up to see who was talking to me and there he was… R Hottie. He was wearing a nice smile, slicked curly hair, a white shirt and jean jacket. He was wearing these round glasses and I swear, I saw a spark there.

Thinking to myself — he is sexy!

“Well, more like 6 minutes rather than a few seconds”

R Hottie’s smile widens and said, “Well for the next 360 seconds this chair is available to you!”

We hit it off. We started talking–danced with me–mind you, I am NOT a good salsa dancer at all–but he was cool about it and we still had a great time. This event was open bar so we drank together, shared small talks with friends. I felt awesome. Everything was awesome. R Hottie leaned in for a kiss but I leaned back– I just felt it wasn’t the right moment. But I definitely wanted to.

He took my phone number and offered for me to stay at the party (as my squad was ready to leave) but I opted to leave with my ppl. We said our cya laters and I left with a big smile on my face.



My Truth

Oh you know.. just daydreaming.

Dear —,

I want to kiss you, feel our bodies warmth–our touch. I want to fall and rise in love with my best friend. Ride off into the sunset together and come home to each other. I want a family, sure I do–whether it ends up just being me and you or miracles of our own, I am happy. Whatever happens to either one of us or both of us we are each other’s support system. Let’s get married and love each other in every way possible. Kiss my entire body. Kiss your entire body. Worship our bodies. Nourish each other’s souls. Faithful, loyal, trust and sheer will is in my blood–offer me the same.

Be absolutely ridiculously happy.





Hurts me that I have not heard from you, HG. Not even to check in on me. Nada.

I have no idea whats going on in your mind and I am so curious. I am upset that I still miss you. That there is no real closure. I am still hurt and still sad.

I went on a date–and it didn’t go all too well. He wasn’t as sweet as you. I don’t even want to get into details.

I still have feelings for you. The ones with butterflies—but you don’t deserve them.