Advice?

So, today is Monday and last I heard from R Hottie was Saturday morning.

I know this sounds silly… but I really think (at least from what I have learned from my experiences) it is the man that should be pursuing the woman.

No, I have not texted back– I want him to want to contact me and be curious about me.

He went from 100 to practically, well, zero. And I have no idea why. No, we haven’t slept together. Maybe that’s all he wanted after a couple of dates–sex. But he didn’t lead me to believe that was his sole interest. I would have definitely picked that up.

Should I reach out? Or just chalk it up to him losing interest? I really thought he liked me. He even said so. Maybe he didn’t feel the connection anymore after date #2 (even though he has reached out a couple of times). As far as I know I think he really ought to be the one to reach out.

On another note entirely:

I have “hung out” with let’s call him, Loud Clapper (more than a few times within the last couple of months since HG and I broke up). It’s a nickname I have for him– he claps so loud when watching games, it can be embarrassing. Sounds like sonic booms. Hahaha.. still! he is a cool guy.. and a nice distraction. And when cums, he YELLS.. like really really really LOUD.

While LC is just a cool guy to distract myself with — he is not what I really want. I have known him now a couple of years, we met through work and there was definitely that physical attraction but none of it actually ever happened until recently.

I want R Hottie. And yes to whomever is reading this— I have definitely been working on myself (aside from all the almost nightly partying).

At least I know what I want.

Advice?

 

R Hottie : Hotline Bling

The next day after meeting R Hottie, I was SURE I was going to hear from him. I felt excited, happy–sexy even.

I woke up early enough to see that it was a beautiful day and made the solid decision on lazy thought to go to the beach either today or tomorrow.

Of course, the next thought that popped into my mind: I wonder when I will hear from him?

Such a girl moment. I proceeded with my day running errands and ate at Suviche.

Then I get a FB message notification on my phone…

It was him! R Hottie! Wait? What? Why is he contacting me here through FB?

FB Message reads:
blurb
So, my real name has a unique spelling– he remembered and found me.

He then called me right when I was getting home and we talked on the phone for a while:

“I don’t know why my phone didn’t save your number. I was pretty bummed about it, even my friends made fun of me. Found you on FB….”

The rest of the call was nice and he was going to a Gala that night which he had to get ready for . He told me he was looking forward to seeing me again. As was I!

I met up with a friend later and we went out and had a blast bar and lounge hopping. Checked out Electric Pickle (meh too early), Beaker & Gray (meh just wasn’t feeling it), went to Lost Weekend (Ok, we love the cheap drinks–we stay), then finally ended up at Purdy (the Dirty Purdy!)

Got home pretty tired, like at 4AM . Knocked hella out.

Woke up at 8AM-ish and saw:

Missed call from R Hottie : 6:35AM

TBC…

Miles Davis

I wonder if you are thinking of me too… that’s the first time I wonder about you today. You went from being thought of all the time to barely there. Progress!

Last night, the song “It Never Entered My Mind” by Miles Davis Quintet was playing on my Spotify. Beautiful song. It moved me. Finally—a song that exactly knows how I feel. A song without lyrics but a song with jazz and trumpet melodies.

Everyone take a listen:

https://open.spotify.com/track/0m560umx98aGNhKQvrFZMT

But you know what.. that the beauty of writing on this thing– therapeutic and I am pushing through now, realizing that I no longer miss you.

I refuse to sit on time with this–you don’t deserve it. Thank goodness I am moving on and moving forward.

Amazing how one can meet new and interesting people in such a short amount of time to make one see things in a brighter and exciting perspective aka HOPE

Fuck the rest.

It never entered my mind. Define “it” for yourself.

 

 

My Truth

Oh you know.. just daydreaming.

Dear —,

I want to kiss you, feel our bodies warmth–our touch. I want to fall and rise in love with my best friend. Ride off into the sunset together and come home to each other. I want a family, sure I do–whether it ends up just being me and you or miracles of our own, I am happy. Whatever happens to either one of us or both of us we are each other’s support system. Let’s get married and love each other in every way possible. Kiss my entire body. Kiss your entire body. Worship our bodies. Nourish each other’s souls. Faithful, loyal, trust and sheer will is in my blood–offer me the same.

Be absolutely ridiculously happy.

Love,

Elena